Here I am, this new day, looking for being present to what is. Not thinking what should or shouldn’t be. It has been a difficult area of my life as things don’t match up to the freedom and joy that I truly want. I blame myself, I blame others, but at this very moment, it doesn’t matter. I have what I have right now. Everything that is, that’s what I have. And what do I have? There are two main perspectives that I see. One, from a victim, shame filled space and one from a grateful space. I could present much evidence to the victim space and many times I do this. It does not produce joy or even solutions. It produces anxiety, overwhelm, despair, laziness, an inability to focus or take care of myself. The spinning wheel in my mind just spins and spins and spins. This space is certainly not what I want, yet I focus in this space far too often and too automatically.
The second perspective is from a grateful space. I have so much to be grateful for, even in the midst of hardship. At any moment, I can shift my focus to gratitude and find an endless stream of gratefulness. When my focus is here, I feel calm, I see beauty, I notice the trees, the birds, the sky. My sense of smell is awakened. I have more energy. I have compassion for myself and others. I feel my heart beating. I notice my breath. Time slows, urgency leaves. I feel that all things are possible. I am feeling very grateful as I sit on the back deck writing this. The sounds are so unique and beautiful. I feel alive, peaceful, truly grateful for this moment, each moment. I feel and know that I am right where I am supposed to be. This where my heart longs to be and I am here now and I am grateful.
Doug