Tough Month

Last month marked 2 years since Christy made the transistion from this life to the next. I miss her more than ever. I feel I miss her more and more as time goes by. Also February marked 10 years since my Dad made his transition and February 19th was also his birthday and the day Christy joined him in heaven. I tried to prepare for the month, but I have found there is no preparing. The sense of loss and the longing to hug them or just have a conversation can cause great frustration and the longings come when they come. I have no control over this, but I have learned to just let the feelings in and I remember. I am thankful for the memories. I have a good cry and it helps. I miss them so much. I still feel Christy very close and I know that she is. It just doesn’t seem fair sometimes, but I am thankful for the time I had with her and I am thankful for the closeness I have with her even now. Thanks for the hawks Christy! Next month will mark 11 years since my Mom left this life and I can’t even believe it has been that long. I have also said goodbye to many other family and friends over the last decade and it can leave me with a feeling of aloneness. The turnover has been crazy and It has been quite overwhelming at times to daily live in so much unfamiliar.  But I have a loving higher power that has surrounded me with such incredible support. God has provided amazing people and resources and I am so very grateful. My life is becoming fresh and alive once again. I feel a sort of rebirth, a new awareness. I have really had no choice but to seek life as the alternative was not appealing at all (been there, done that). I am growing, I am learning, I am healing.  As I do, I am finding that I have a real purpose yet to fulfill in this world. I have experienced much and have been prepared for such a time as this. I’m ready, I’m willing and I’m facing any and all fears and removing all hindrances that keep me from being me, the beautiful, magnificently unique expression of God that I am. At one time, I would have thought this to be a bit over the top, but I now see this in all people. We are wonderfully made, known fully before coming into this world, a true miracle of life and creation. “And God breathed in the breathe of life into man”. I celebrate this for me and for all! Blessings, Doug