I remember back to 7th grade (I believe it was) going to the Franklin Cinema with my class to watch 2001 a Space Odyssey. 2001 seemed like a time so far out that I couldn’t even comprehend not only seeing 2001 come and go, but to see 2012! Well, here it is and here I am. So much has changed since then. The world in many ways is a different place, yet so much the same. I am also different and so much the same. I recognize as I have grown older, I have went through different periods of learning, testing, evaluating and applying. This process has taken me far away from my home many times or at least from my awareness of home. You see, I believe my home is in my heart and thus I am never really lost or far away. I have only lost my connection to my home, to my truth of who I am. I have unplugged from source and plugged into a thing or another person, thus clouding my awareness of who I really am. It has taken much to make me aware of this and I know I will forget again and again, but it seems as I continue to test life by allowing my mind and spirit to be stretched, I am somehow beginning to trust that I am never truly alone, nor far away, even though everything in my immediate vision screams otherwise. This awareness is giving me courage to step outside the fence of my comfort and deep down know that even if I fall or suffer pain in my choices, I am never alone. I have a home always and I am never homeless.
This life has been quite a journey for me. Looking back, I am finding a truth about myself that has really always been there, but I just couldn’t see it. The truth, I believe, is that I am a unique and magnificent outpouring of love from the creator of life. I am indeed special as is all of creation. At times in my life, I have known that, without doubt, but I couldn’t hold onto it. I have had to experience life with all its pain, discouragement and disappointments. Experiencing life, coming to the end of myself, my ego created reality, is where I find the truth of who I really am. It is in hitting the rock bottom and then finding that the bottom is really an illusion. It is a false bottom! And as I fall through, I am being freed. I am no longer afraid in this realization. I am no longer in bondage to my fears. I can actually begin to spread my wings and soar! My vision becoming like the hawk (a beautiful story to share here).
Soaring!
I long to stay in this reality, but as it is, I will forget and I will panic turning to my old restricted ways, but life is my training ground and I am a willing student. Today, I will do all I can to live life in each moment and cherish all that is, trusting that I will experience peace and serenity deep in my heart, even if I can’t see it or feel it in my moments of limited awareness.
Blessings,
Doug