Today, I realize I’m am in such a different place in my life journey. I see things so differently today and I’m sure I will continue in this vain until I leave this earth. I am becoming more aware of me, the man made in the image of the creator and sustainer of all life. That is just something so incredible to think about and even more incredible to really believe it. I know I have seen the words, spoken the words, but I have not fully embraced this truth. I am just now really approaching this as something I think I can believe. I mean, come on, me with all my flaws, all my mistakes, all my less than honorable thoughts, all my judgement, all my resentments, anger and hatred and yet I do somehow know, I am made of the finest stock. I am known and I am loved and have been long before I was born. The God I believe in is magnificent and is incapable of anything but love for his creation. I am here to remember, to be and to know with all my heart, mind and soul that we are one. One life, one perfect life of pure perfect love. Jesus indeed did show us the way, but I don’t believe the way is outside of ourselves. It is not something to grasp when I die or something in the sky. It is within my heart, the fullness of God, right here, right now. It is not external. It is internal and it is the fullness of God. Nothing is held back, nothing is beyond my touch, my reach, my dreams, my desires. The kingdom is here, now!
This is what gives me hope each new day. I have been through much and have suffered great loss. My heart aches for my loved ones who are no longer here, but I know they are not really gone. They are just in a place that I cannot fully go right now, but I can sense their presence if I am attentive to the beauty of life and that starts with me. I must first love myself. I must first know that I am worthy, that I am not the sum of my mistakes. I am finding my way through this life by digging deep. By challenging my beliefs and facing my fears. I am pushing the envelope and I am truly excited by what I am finding. New life is filling my lungs and I am finding a peace and a beauty to life that is beyond what I could see before. As I commit and move toward life and love, life and love are moving toward me. Amazing to say the least.
As I contemplate another Christmas season wihout those I loved and love so dearly, I am so truly thankful for the contribution of love they added to my life! I have been loved well my entire life and today I recognize that more than ever. This recognigition is healing my brokenness and as I heal, I am recognizing the beauty of life in all creation. The deep within my heart connecting to the deep within another. Beautiful! I am a blessed man!
Doug