Here I am, another day to find more of who I am. I feel I’m learning almost daily how to live this life. I know I have been extremely blessed, even as I consider the loss of so many loved ones. I so terribly miss Christy and I miss my mom and dad. I feel so very lonely at times, but I am certain I will see them again and I’m certain that reunion will be way beyond cool! I can’t wait, but not yet. I have much yet to do here, this I somehow know.
I’m just scratching the surface of a new experience of love, a love from deep within. A love that has always been, but not fully realized. This is a love that is allowing me to really love me, Doug! I have always been very critical of myself, expecting perfection in the midst of impossible choices and situations. I have been driven to prove something to myself, but not sure what that is and so I strived toward a goal that I did not know and even though I didn’t know, I felt I was not reaching it and thus would be disappointed with myself. A little crazy for sure!
I do seem to have found the real goal that my heart longs for and I am digging deep to find the love that breathes life and I am allowing that love to soak in and as I do, I’m being healed. I am so very grateful for this realization of love and I am learning to stop and be present in the moments of life, the time and space where true love lives. I am also remembering back to very specific moments in time where I breathed the breath of life, these were sacred moments in my life journey leading me toward the knowledge of who I am and to the truth that I am loved deeply and completely. There have been many such moments. I have been incredibly blessed to experience what I have experienced in my 54 years. Although I don’t fully understand, I do feel that life on this earth in these bodies is so precious. There is no time to waste as I know the deep love at the core of my being must be realized fully. The divine in me yearns to connect to the divine in others in order to expand this reality of true love. For God so loved the world!
Blessings,
Doug