Yesterday marked 10 month’s since my Christy left this world. It was an emotional weekend as my Christmas tree and decorations were put in place for the season. I wasn’t sure, I even wanted to put up a tree, but I felt compelled and encouraged to do so. I am glad it is up as it really does brighten up my house and helps me to remember the beauty that is here to see and experience. I need the love, the joy and the magic of Christmas more than ever.
I so cherished the memories of last Christmas as Christy was so happy to able to enjoy it all and I was so happy that she was still with us. Last Christmas was such a gift! This year is going to be such a contrast, such a change, but Christy’s love is strong in my heart and that brings me hope that this Christmas will also be special.
Yesterday was also a tough day as my cousin Sandy died from complications of lung cancer treatment. She was my first cousin on my Dad’s side and we were very close. I got to visit her the day before Thanksgiving and we had such a beautiful time together reminiscing and sharing our struggles. We prayed together and felt such a peace that we both so needed. Sandy was such a beautiful loving person who cared deeply for her family. She was indeed a special gift and I will miss her.
Death is coming at me strong as I have seen 2 uncles, my stepmother, my wife and now my cousin all die in the last 14 months. This is hard! I don’t know how to do this! The grief can be overwhelming at times as I watch my family slowly wither away. Oh and did I mention both my parents died in 2001 and 2002 and my aunt Ginger (Sandy’s mom) shortly after that. This is so, so hard. God, give me strength and courage to keep going and to trust that you know what is best.
Doug