This Friday will be the 9 month mark of Christy’s departure from this earth. I cannot believe time is moving so quickly. I am so not pleased with God at this moment. Call me selfish, but I just can’t find life fully complete without her. As I am trying to deal head-on with the hurt in my heart, I am remembering all the family and friends that have been taken from my life. Cancer, heart attacks, tragic accidents have taken some very significant people from me. It is no wonder I struggle so much to feel and to fully love. I’m hurt and I’m angry and I’m afraid to love too deeply. I just can’t stand the pain of losing one more person.
Today, another person who touched my life, Jen, passed away from the ravages of brain cancer. Jen fought a beautiful fight and inspired many along the way. I met her through the Tug McGraw Foundation at the Country Music Marathon this past year. She was a brain cancer survivor extraordinaire and also a marathon runner. She called me before the marathon and shared her story with me. I was proud to meet her and run with her and for her in Nashville. Thank you Jenny!
I am sad at this moment as I know the pain of loss and I know the struggles to come with making sense of such a loss.Somehow, I pray that comfort and healing will be provided. Deep inside, I know that we all will be OK. Today though, peace is hard to fathom. My heart is hurting, but I must find light in this darkness!
Another first is coming fast and that is Thanksgiving. Last Thanksgiving was difficult as Christy was very weak and struggled the entire 4 day weekend. This year, I am a bit lost as I search for thankfulness in the midst of loss. I will be running an 8K on Thanksgiving morning in memory of Christy as our first Thanksgiving together in 1990 we ran this same race together. In the rain, we ran the entire 8K together and finished hand in hand! I remember this so well. Such a beautiful memory Christy Joy!
I will continue to find healing and strength through running, writing, music and loving as best as I can. I know I am covered by a beauty and love far beyond my comprehension. A love that knew me before I was ever known in this world. A love that will complete me and fulfill me in perfect timing. My hope is secure!
Doug