Today is a new day and I will do my best to let it be what it will be. I will look for the beauty in all things. I will love people and give them space to be where they are, even when that comes out in the form of actions that tend to really annoy me! Just as many people I will encounter today (whether in the grocery, in my car on the road or anyplace else) don’t know me or what I am feeling or what I am going through, I also don’t know their story. Today, I am resolved to try and love and not be quick to dismiss them or negatively catagorize them.
I have been back to work full time for the last week or so. So far, so good. I feel as if this is a positive step for me as it is giving me confidence in myself that I can do the normal activities of life. My biggest fear with this is that I will become consumed with work (or it consumes me) and not do the things that have brought me healing thus far. I must continue to make the time to read, write, play my guitars, run, ride my bike, share with trusted friends and especially grieve. As much as I want to find normality, I must let the process happen as it needs to happen, no shortcuts, no deadlines.
Life is beautiful and a gift that should never be taken for granted. I have experienced beauty in the midst of great pain and I am fully understanding that life is hard and full of pain and suffering. Yet, there is such beauty to be grasped in the face of pain and suffering. But, we must choose to embrace it and accept it and be willing to fight the ensuing battles against the forces that seek to destroy our hearts and thus, free our hearts to see and feel the beauty of life. Today, I am choosing to fight for life and beauty!
Blessings,
Doug