Yesterday was the 3 month mark of Christy’s transistion from this world to the next. Seems like so much longer, but at times it seems like just yesterday. I can still feel her close to me. I can sense her warmth, her scent, the smoothness of her skin. She is still so much a part of me. I miss you Christy! I love you forever!
This past Sunday, a memorial service was held at Hospice of Dayton to honor those who have passed in the last 3 months. I was so moved by the beauty of the flowers, the words spoken and the collective hearts of all of us grieving the loss of our loved ones. I placed a yellow rose in the vase at the front and shared in the microphone the name of my beloved wife, “Christy Joy Ellis”. I am so blessed to have had such a beautiful gift from God.
Last evening I went to a different widow/widowers group at Pathways of Hope. I felt like I was really ready this time and found the group of people to be very loving with all of us needing love and guidance through our hurt. I felt very comfortable with this group and the counselor. I will definitely go back.
I’m still trying to figure out life at this point. I’m reading, writing, running, biking, playing my guitars. I am slowly getting back to working again. At times, it is hard to find motivation, but it always seems to come. I am seeking God with an open heart and mind, which is, so far, showing me an incredible love that is not only sustaining me, but lighting up my heart. I do feel sad, anxious and even depressed to some degree, but I also feel joy and peace working their way into my heart. Today, I am choosing to live and to love. I am trusting that God has his best ready for me, even when I can’t see through the tears. I am loved and I know it deep within my spirit.
Blessings,
Doug