Nashville is coming up quickly and I am beginning to get a bit nervous. I know the thought of the large crowds; the unknowns associated with doing something new are part of my nervousness. But, what I really know is that I (along with our whole entourage) will be facing some really huge emotions associated with Christy’s death.
I am still feeling like I’m barely hanging on at times and that life is very abnormal, even on-hold to a degree. I think the marathon is the next big emotional step in moving forward to finding “Joy” again. I am looking forward to feeling joy again, but I’m definitely apprehensive about feeling the deep pain. It is necessary and healing I’m sure, but nonetheless, scary!
Physically, I am ready for the 13.1 miles. My body feels good and I will be eating well and getting plenty of rest this week. Spiritually, I’m feeling closer to God than I ever have. I am seeing a new facet of his great love that I didn’t know existed. This love is sustaining me and allowing me to receive and give agape love from the depths of a hurt and sorrowful heart. It is amazing! Mentally, I’m fighting anxiety and a bit of depression, but I am fighting well, with healthy outlets and support from great friends and family. I am looking for God to provide great healing this weekend as I know his presence will be thick. Pray and be a part of our journey!
Blessings,
Doug