3 weeks

Today is 3 weeks since Christy Joy’s spirit left this world. It has been such a strange time for me and I know for many others. I am just really able to begin grieving the loss of my soul mate and it is really breaking my heart at times. Remembering is key to me as I don’t want to lose any memories of our time together. Christy and I had such a blessed life together on this earth and I want to remember our special relationship always. So, I have begun writing down my thoughts, my feelings, examining what I’ve lost. I am using a journal called an “Angel Catcher”. It is difficult, but it is helping. I also hope to write more on a daily basis. I find writing to be very healing. I hope to eventually share much of what I write.

 This has been the most difficult time of my life. I feel like I’ve been living in a fog for the past 3 weeks.  I feel very lost at times. But, I am beginning to sense a bit of light shining through. I know I mentioned being in “the void” where one door has closed and I am now waiting in the dark hallway waiting for God to open the next door. Well, maybe I can sense a crack in a new door will soon be visible. I have pain, I am sad, but I also have hope. I can’t explain the hope, but I know it is there deep in my soul. I know deep in my soul that God is there and he has me firmly in his grasp. I can’t control, manipulate or rid myself of this hope as it is way beyond my human capacity. I know this to be the essence of God and it is not just words or head knowledge. It is that I know what I know what I know. Knowing is such an intimate word. Knowing God is intimate, beautiful and beyond our description. Thank you Lord! I could never do this without you! My hope is you!

 I want to continue to share my heart with you through this difficult time as it helps me heal and I sense it could help others find strength and hope in difficult times. I love you all and I do know I am loved by so many. Thank You!

Blessings,

Doug